How to change yourself and others and how yoga can help you.

It’s easy to categories ourselves and others. Maybe it’s even necessary in order to allow us to create our own unique model of the world with expectations and understanding of the people around us. However as we categories ourselves and others we create boxes, we form beliefs about what we expect and this can reinforce behavior.

I truly believe you can be and do anything. Gaininga new skill may require a lot of work and learning – it may even require that we give something else up. There are clearly only so many hours in a day and we have to decide who we want to be and what we want to do with them. When we find that who we desire to be is different to who we are, we may need to change in order to achieve our goal, but we can do it.

Believing that other people have the capacity to change can help us believe in our own ability to change. However let’s be clear, the other person has to change because they want to, not because you think they shouldchange. Tryingto change someone else against their will is not a good use of their time, but believing that someone can change is really useful. There have certainly been times in my life that I have felt that other people have believed in me, perhaps more than I did at that moment, and this has helped me to gradually see that I am capable of more than I ever imagined.

How does yoga fit into all of this?

In yoga you develop concentration through movement and focus on the breath. As you do this you start to become more aware, and as you become more aware you start to notice beliefs that you hold about yourself, some of which are limiting beliefs. As you start to notice them, realize that – far from being predestined – these limiting beliefs are actually choices.

As you reflect on these limiting beliefs and behaviors, they can seem so strange. You may wonder ‘why would I sabotage myself like this?’ Much of our behavior is governed by unconscious patterns, and probably when we created this pattern of behavior it was useful in some way, even if it is no longer useful any more. The problem is when we generalize these behaviors out into the world we sometimes forget that we have a choice about them.

Namaste- I bow to the divine in you with a picture of Helen Aldred in a yoga poseAs we make changes in ourselves we may notice the surprise in others who expect us to behave the other (old) way. One of the best ways to help other people to feel capable of their own inner transformation is to demonstrate it through our own example. We cannot make another person change and yet we can inspire them and help them to realize that they can make changes if they want to.

In order to allow ourselves and others to change, I think we have to see the magnificent, limitless being that they and we truly are. Namaste is a Hindi greeting often said at the end of a yoga class. It means I bow/ acknowledge the divine in you. So I will end this holding in my mind that inside all of us is limitless potential and the belief that you can make whatever changes you want to.

Namaste

Achieve your goals in 2018 and beyond – Why doing less may mean achieving more

I love setting goals and I know I achieve a lot more when I set them. Goals help me move my life in the direction that I want it to go, rather than letting circumstance or other people decide what I am prioritizing. It seems like there is more and more to do, and with these wonderful possibilities more choices to make. That said I have in the past had a bad habit when it comes to goal setting. I sometimes used to set too many goals. There are only so many hours in the day after all and my sleep and health are top priorities for me.

Although I set and achieve goals year round, I tend to review my goals and get lots of ideas about changes I want to make around Christmas/New Year time. This is because I have some time off from teaching at this time, and I find a break from my regular routine really helps me get perspective and come up with lots of ideas. It’s really exciting and inspiring to have lots of ideas, and the New Year is always full of potential and possibilities.

What do you want to do with your time in 2018? Picture of diary and a coffee with the aforementioned text at the top.This year I knew I had to commit to less to achieve more. I have always done this to some extent. Yoga is the made focus of my life, I practice it I read about, I talk about, I teach about, I keep learning and I keep sharing. I know even with this immense dedication to yoga I will never know everything but I also know that I am someone who likes to know a few things really well than lots of things a little bit. As yoga is my full time job this is an appropriate level of dedication for me, each person it will be different and of course we all have more than one thing to focus on. Our job, our hobbies and our families are 3 key areas of focus, each important and requiring time and attention. As you say yes to one thing you may have to say no to others. You want to go to a yoga class in the evening but you usually watch TV in the evenings, which will help you the most? I know which I would choose ;-).

When we say yes we are also saying no, what you say, “no too will help you to achieve your goals because goals require action and action requires time. Most new years resolutions fail. Does this mean we shouldn’t set them? I don’t think so but once you have set your goals you need to work out what you need to do to achieve them. By the way my husband Marc, who is a certified NLP Trainer, has taught me a lot about how to write down my goals in the last year. It has been a big game changer for me. He has written a great blog post about how to write smart goals here. Once you have set your goals you need to work out what the most important things to do in order to achieve your goals are. Then you need to do them. It sounds simple but this is perhaps the most challenging part. Most goals require more than one action and sometimes the actions are less exciting than the end goal. Often they are things you don’t want to do, or have struggled to do in the past, or else why would you need to set it as a goal?

If you want to do more of something this year, what are you willing to do less of, even if it is procrastinate less. If you can commit to just one goal and really focus on that I think you will achieve amazing things. I have managed to narrow my goals down to five, which is still a lot, but they are all essential to me in some way. My process at the start of each week is to look at each goal and commit to what I can realistically do to move that goal forward. I will review what I have achieved the week prior and work out what is realistic and attainable whilst still moving things forward.

essentialism book coverOver the Christmas period I listened to an audiobook called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeon also available as a good old-fashioned book. This book is about decluttering your life to focus on what is most important to you. Often we do things out of habit or because we have already committed to doing them or done them in the past. He uses the metaphor of cleaning out your wardrobe as you look at the things you do in your life, ask yourself how much effort would I make in order to get this into my life if it wasn’t already there. It’s a really good book, I recommend it.

Whatever your dreams and goals are for this year I wish you lots of actions in the pursuit of your dreams. Do you set goals? What has helped you achieve them?

 

Happy New Year – How you can achieve your goals in 2015

Happy new year! This is the year, the messages are everywhere today is the beginning of the new you. Here I am going to share some tips for how I set my goals to help you achieve yours. Yes I know I am am a yogi, I should be happy just where I am, and I am but our lives will change in the next year and we can have an impact on what happens.

My tips for achieving your goals

  1.  Set your goals high but be realistic. You might want to do 5 hours of yoga a day, spend 3 hours a day  with friends and get promoted but are there enough hours in the day to achieve this? By all means set a big goal. One of my goals is to cycle 100 miles. I know I will have to make some sacrifices to achieve this I know I will have to do some extra yoga stretches to keep my body in a balance. It’s a big goal but I am excited enough about it to prioritise it.
  2. Write them down, and if you can, tell someone. Writing it down makes it more real, and telling someone makes you more accountable. Another one of my goals is to write on this blog more often, at least fortnightly. There I have told you so feel free to comment if you see I am slacking.
  3. Break it down. Some goals can seem huge. If you feel overwhelmed by your goal you may put it off but most of the time a big goal can be broken down into small actionable tasks. For example if you want to eat healthier you could start by learning to cook one new healthy meal a week. Work out what your next step is for each of your goals.
  4. Do challenge yourself. Your goals should be exciting they should make you feel inspired. Don’t be scared to challenge yourself.
  5. Find inspiration or help if you need it. We all get inspired by different things. Think back to a goal that you have previously achieved. What helped you achieve it? Was it involving your friends or your family, was it reading books about the topic, was it following a blog of someone going through a similar journey? See if you can find what motivates you then go find it.
  6. Make your goals clear. We all want to eat well, do yoga and exercise more but when will you know that you have achieved this goal? What is the outcome you are really looking for? If you want to lose weight what’s your goal weight and how are you going to lose it? Be clear on where you want to go and how you are going to get there.
  7. Regularly check your goals You need to check in regularly weekly is best but monthly is okay too. Are you still working towards this goal? What could you do next? Have you achieved it?  As you start making progress towards your goals you may find that you don’t want them after all or that something else is more important. That’s fine you learned something about yourself and you can set new goals at anytime, you don’t need to make them in the new year. Set new goals or change your current ones if you decide they need changing.

Here are my goals for 2015 in no particular order

  1. Write more – specifically writing a blog post on this blog at least fortnightly and starting a new cycling blog.
  2. Meditate for at least 30 minutes daily
  3. Cycle 100 miles, plan is to this in August at a sportive in Anglesey where I grew up.

Yoga is not there, I know but I already practice every day and I don’t need to do more than that.

Helen and Marc toasting their engagement

Marc and I celebrating our engagement with Appletise on Christmas Day. I know I like to step onto the wild side!

In other news I am very happy to announce that my partner and I got engaged whilst on holiday in Lanzarote. We are delighted. I look forward to seeing those of you in Liverpool soon and sharing more on this blog this year. Thanks for reading.

Do you have goals for 2015? Do you have any tips for how to achieve goals?